Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
