i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
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My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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