I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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