Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
