Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
