The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
