we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
