just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
