I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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