Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
