Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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