wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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