I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
