Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
