Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
