It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize