They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
