What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
