I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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