wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize