Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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