Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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