Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize