Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
