I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize