New low: just hacked my moms facebook
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
