Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
