I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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