Where are you?
In a non slutty way
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
