what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
