Only a mothe r could love this liver
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
