Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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