Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
