I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
