I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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