Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
She said her name was "party"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
