its not stalking. its research.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
