Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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