Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
