'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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