I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
