then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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