Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
