This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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