Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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