Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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