a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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