Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
