I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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