i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
