She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
