I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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