He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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