I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
