in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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