So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
