Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
