What a fucking waste of an outfit
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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