hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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