Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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