is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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