Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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