Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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