brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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