i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
