if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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