they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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